Groaning In Unison

I’m about to say something that will make every man in the world groan in unison.  I know because I used to be one of you.  Now that I’m going to admit this, it is clear that my Man Card will be revoked and I will have aligned myself with a legion of screaming women.  Honestly, I can’t believe I’m even admitting this to myself, let alone the rest of the world, but here goes: I liked Twilight.

I know, I know, but before you quit reading and cast me out of the Man Cave forever, hear me out.  I didn’t want to like it, in fact, I downright loathed the thought of sparkly vampires and moody teenage girls.  I wanted nothing more than for Wesley Snipes to magically appear and start cracking skulls.  However when your wife wants you to watch a show with her, you do it.  Keeping in mind all of the Schwarzenegger movies and Matrix marathons I’ve made her sit through, I hesitantly agreed to watch the movie.  After the first 30 minutes or so, I was ready to give up and toss it into the fads-I’ll-never-understand bin along with straight bill hats and skinny jeans.  Then, something weird happened; I began to be interested in what was going to happen next.

Now don’t get it twisted, I wasn’t leaning forward from the edge of my seat or anything, but I did find myself paying attention more than not.  For sure, vampires that shine like disco balls in the sun aren’t my thing, but at least it was a vampire flick – however loosely you can use that term - and Kristen Stewart is easy on the eyes.  Add in a couple of vampire rumbles and some people getting killed, and by the end of the movie I found myself actually impressed that it wasn’t as bad as the ultra-vagina-fest I’d been led to believe.  In fact, it even strayed into the dangerous territory of making me interested in seeing the next one.

It may be sad to admit, but now I’ve actually seen the second and third installments.  To my continued surprise, the series has gotten even better.  How can you not like a pack of werewolves being tossed into the mix and throwing down with those sparkly sissies?  Oops, I think I just divulged that I’m team Jacob.

Seriously though, I'm team Bella.




Admittedly, the storyline isn’t the best, and is basically just a supernatural twist on hundreds of other movies that have been done, but if you think about it, that’s better than watching a plain old love story like The Notebook isn’t it?

Now, feel free to pile on the one guy in the world who liked Twilight. I admit; I deserve it. I’m a sad, sad man. I felt so bad about it after coming clean with myself that I immediately turned on the TV to watch some football with one hand on a Guinness and the other on my balls. You know what though? I still want to see the next one – and I don’t care what you think.